Beat Inside Me
by whiskeysforbusiness
Summary: Killians reaction to having half of the saviour's heart thrust into him. Drably, angsty one shot. Inspired by My Love by Sia.


**Another short one shot from my favorite ship. Not much of a plot, just** **drably.**

 **I own nothing. The characters and quotes in italics belong to OUAT and creators.**

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Killian stood shocked, eyes locked with Emma. He could feel, rather than see, Liam's gaping mouth. Yet, the only thing he could see in the depths of Emma's eyes was determination. Her family, including Regina, Robin, and the crocodile, stood flanking her. No one batting an eye at her proclamation.

"That's a bloody awful idea Swan! How do you know it'll work?" He sounded harsher than he intended, but the months he had spent in the sulfur riddled Underworld was enough to know he wouldn't allow anymore of his loved one to find their way here. Especially Emma.

"It'll work. Have faith." He wanted to say something snarky, but couldn't. He turned to Liam, wanting help from his brother. Yet, all he found was encouragement. Before another word could be uttered, Emma grasped his hand in hers, turning to Regina.

"Emma, you realize there'll be no secrets from your past?"

"Do it." With a nod, the former evil queen strode towards Emma. His Emma. He clenched his jaw, wanting to wrap Emma in his embrace and shield her from what was about to happen. As a veteran of having his heart drug from his chest, he knew it would hurt.

As the queen's arm disappeared in Emma's chest, pulling back to reveal the essence of his saviour, he wanted to weep. He wrapped his arms around her as she trembled, her gaze never wavering from his face. And then he was left breathless, the queen plunging half of his Swan into him. And blackness overtook him.

Moments flashed through his mind, growing up alone, bouncing from home to home. Finally finding a home with someone, only to be left alone and condemned for his crimes. Going to prison, only to find out she was with child. The sorrow of giving the lad up for his own good. Having said lad show up, years later to convince her she had magic. Wandering into the strange town and meeting the enigmatic people who resided there. Thinking she had lost her lad, only to have her kiss save him. Realizing the truth about her life, falling through the portal to the Enchanted Forest. The confusion and will to be strong enough to survive in the world she was meant to grow up in.

Meeting him. Knowing he was lying. He could feel the irritation his early actions had granted him, but it was that of a tender sort. Leaving him chained on the beanstalk, the regret she held for the moment. Having him lock her in Rumplestiltskin's cell. Fighting him before portaling back. Seeing him in New York, hell bent on revenge. Watching him get hit by a car, riding with him to the hospital. Her amusement at his comments while hospitalized. Her want for him to see that he could be a part of good. When he offered his services to find Henry. His support in Neverland when she knew he didn't have to be there. Her shock at his secret, she'd never been anyone's light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Her sorrow driving away from not just her family, but him as well. Remembering him in New York, her fear of getting sucked into something worth staying for. He could sense her feelings growing, just as she could at the time. Being sucked through yet another portal, only to find she wasn't alone. He had followed her. He felt her fear when she had thought her mother had died.

Her awe when he told her he had given the _Jolly_ to rescue her. The warmth that had blossomed in her chest. And then fear. The crippling fear of losing yet another person she loved. Yet, everyday he proved her wrong, slowly rooting the fear from her. Every kiss, every touch. The lunches he brought her at the station, or the coffees on the walk to work. Her fear coming back somewhat when she put his heart back in his chest. Her anger at her parents, upon learning the truth. While her feelings for him blossomed, having him standing behind her on everything. Never wavering, having no doubt in her. It empowered her, he realized. He had become her rock. The way her heart had swelled at his words, telling her she was his happy ending. The feeling of being someone's happiness. Then the gut wrenching heartbreak she felt in the alternate universe, as Charming ran him through with his sword. Her relief upon seeing him in the loft, tackling him to the bed. Knowing what she needed to do, take the darkness to save everyone she cared about, including him. The determination she felt, looking in his eyes as she told him she loved him.

Fear. Stumbling through the forest of Camelot, trying to break free from the dark one's hold. Relief upon seeing him again, having her rock back. Even through the darkness invading her heart, she still felt the same shock, the same warmth from his touch. The reverence with which she cherished the ring he had given her. And then healing him from Excalibur's cut. Or thinking she had. The familiar panic threatening to overwhelm her, knowing she couldn't go on without him. The urge to move into the house in Storybrooke, with him. The power of igniting the spark to combine the dagger and sword.

The panic at seeing him fall to the floor, his wound reopening. Giving into the darkness, letting it consume her completely, all for the sake of saving him. The devastation of his betrayal in Camelot, at him killing Merlin. Knowing she was the one to do this to him. Heart ache as she cradled him to her, letting the curse take them back to Storybrooke, where she would reverse everything before he could get his memories back.

The alienation she felt when they returned, knowing no one remembered, knowing that for his sake, she had to pretend she was evil. Hurting Henry, having everyone doubt her. Having him say that he loved her, in past tense. Her realizing the darkness was just under the surface. Her hope when he told her that he would love her no matter what she had done. Only to have that proven wrong. Agony, as the person she loved more than anything threatened her entire family, promising to make her pay in pain. And then the kicker.

When recognition flashed through his eyes, making Nimue stop her torture, hope flashed once more, only to flicker out. As he asked her to kill him. The pain he had felt at the blade plunging into his gut, he realized, was nothing compared to the searing torture the flamed through Emma's veins as she buried the hilt of Excalibur into him. Spending days, twirling the ring he had given her, as she thought back through everything.

" _You need me alive." "Try something new, it's called trust." When I win your heart, and I will win it. It won't be because of any trickery, it'll be because you want me." "I'm a survivor." "I'm a fan of every part of you." "It's my job, well I hope it's my job, to protect your heart." "Don't you know Emma? It's you." "It's a reminder you have a piercing eyed, smoldering pirate who loves you." "I love you."_

Killian lunged up right, gasping for breath as his eyes searched around him for the only person he wanted to see. But, he couldn't find the familiar halo of gold anywhere, sending him even more frantic. And suddenly, she walked around the corner of the living room, talking to Henry. He realized in the back of his mind that he lay on the couch in her house.  
She stopped, seeing that he was awake. She murmured something to Henry, who waved at him and back tracked to give them privacy. She made her way slowly to his side, sitting ever so gently. She handed him a glass of water, which he took thankfully.

"You were out for a little under a week. How do you feel?" Her eyes shined as they searched his face. He drew in a ragged breath.

"Bloody Hell Swan. You had your heart torn in two and you're worried about me?" He engulfed her then, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He heard a small sniffle, making his, well her, heart clench. "M'okay love."

Her hands found purchase on the sides of his face, one tracing the scar on his cheek. He brushed her tears back slowly, unsure of himself. And suddenly, her mouth was on his, unyielding.

"Don't ever do that again." He nodded slowly.

"I'm never leaving your side, Swan." She pulled his head back down to her's nuzzling slowly.

"Good. Because now, instead of being a survivor, you're half saviour." Her smile blinded him, causing his smile to answer.


End file.
